🎃 When My Brain Just Can’t Let It Go Today at work we had a customer come in with a jeep that he had turned into a rock crawler. He said he had a code for a downstream O2 sensor, then told us he had removed his catalytic converters. I explained that he would need someone to reprogram his ECM to work without them. He didn’t want to hear it and said, “Well, it didn’t have a code for months after I did it.” I tried to tell him that you have to drive enough miles before the ECM even realizes something is wrong, but he just brushed it off and left. Thirty minutes later, I was still talking about it with John. He finally asked, “Why do you and Miranda not leave stuff in the past? You both just keep talking about people or things that happened for days instead of letting it go.” I stopped for a second and said, “I can’t speak for Miranda, but for me, my brain loops when something bugs me.” That’s the truth. When something doesn’t make sense, ...

When Life Is Full of Square Holes but You're a Round Peg Reflection: Everything I've ever tried to do has been a challenge for me—from tying my shoes to reading to maths. It was never easy. I’ve always had to take extra time, use up more spoons, push through more frustration just to get the job done right. While others were walking through open doors, I was trying to reshape myself to fit into keyholes that were never made for me. I tried. I always tried. But when the world demands speed, neatness, sameness—it doesn’t care that my brain works differently. It doesn’t wait for me to catch up. And that pressure builds. Every little task eats a piece of energy I might not get back for days. Add all the sensory overload that stacks up throughout the day—the lights too bright, sounds too sharp, clothes too scratchy, smells too strong—and eventually it’s not just tiredness. It’s meltdown. It’s shutdown. It’s trauma, piling up like bricks on my chest. Over time, that toll becam...

The Calm in the Pattern: How Routines Help Me Regulate In my last post, I talked about my morning rituals—how I eat the same breakfast, take my meds at the same times, and follow a strict order before I start my day. But I wanted to go deeper into why routines matter so much to me as an autistic adult. It’s not just about liking sameness. It’s about stability . When the world feels unpredictable, overstimulating, and exhausting, my routine gives me something solid to hold onto. It’s like a roadmap that tells me: “This is what’s next. You’re safe. You’ve done this before.” Every time I follow my routine successfully, I’m building up regulation—not just keeping myself on track physically, but emotionally too. My brain knows what to expect. My body doesn’t have to stay on high alert. That makes it easier to stay calm, focused, and grounded. But when something disrupts the flow—when my breakfast is late, when someone talks to me during my med schedule, or when a task gets r...