More Words Than Ever: A Day of Hope, Hurt, and Holding On Today was really weird. It’s hard to explain—really hard. I’ve talked more today than I think I’ve talked my entire life, lol. I know I was with John, and he’s one of my safe people, but even then, I usually don’t say much. Something’s shifting, I think. And I truly believe the sertraline is helping. I know it’s just Day 15, and I shouldn’t get my hopes up. But I can’t help it. If things keep going like this… who knows? I’ve even been smiling more. Jennifer noticed during our last session. And today both Xander and Ryan told me I seemed happier. I guess I do. Sometimes I wish I could just know what I’m feeling without having to think so hard about it. Alexithymia makes that so difficult. Like… yeah, I can smile and feel okay in the moment, but then later I’m left wondering, “What was that feeling? Was that happiness?” It’s frustrating not to be able to tell in real time. I want to understand myself more easily. It’s exhau...