I Am Not a Failure for Needing Help Chronicles of a Quiet Fighter A+ A A− Some days it hits me hard. The thought that I must be a failure because I need so much support. My mom reminds me to eat, Miranda grounds me when I start to spiral, and John helps me stay on track with food and health. Without them, I know I would have ended up in the hospital more than once. For a long time, I have carried the weight of believing this made me weak. That needing help somehow erased all the things I have accomplished. But lately I have started to see it differently. Needing support does not mean failure. It means I am human. Humans are not meant to live this life completely alone. Support systems are the safety nets that keep us going when our own strength runs thin. When I look at what I have done, writing a 70,000 word novel in just two weeks, holding down a job that overwhelms my senses, and still finding the courage to share my story ...

Shadows, Stories, and New Chapters There are nights when the world feels heavy, almost like the shadows themselves lean closer to see if I will break. I have carried words like armor and like chains, sometimes both in the same breath. My writing has always been more than stories, it is survival, it is defiance, it is the quiet way I say I am still here . People attack with words, sometimes sharp, sometimes subtle. They assume silence means weakness. What they never realize is silence can also be strategy. While others waste their breath on cruelty, I gather my strength in pages and chapters. Every insult becomes fuel, every doubt becomes ink. This is where storytelling and reality meet. Because my battles off the page slip into my fiction, and my fiction teaches me how to fight the battles off the page. There is no clean line. It is all tangled together, messy but alive. Sorry about not posting regularly lately. I have been so hyper focus...

When Customers Become Friends 🧡 Working at O’Reilly’s, I meet a lot of people every day. Most come in just looking for a part, an answer, or a little bit of guidance. But every so often, something bigger happens—someone walks in as a customer and, over time, becomes a friend. Those are the moments that remind me that connection can show up in the most ordinary places. As an autistic person, building friendships isn’t always easy for me. Social rules can feel confusing, and I don’t always know the “right” way to connect. But when kindness is genuine, it cuts through all the awkwardness. Some of my favorite friendships started at the parts counter—over shared laughs, stories about old cars, or even just a small conversation about life outside of repairs. Friendship doesn’t have to be complicated. It can start with a smile, a simple “How are you really doing today?” or remembering someone’s name. Those little things add up. Over time, customers who were once strangers have become...

📚 Writing Update: Big Things Coming! Hey everyone, I wanted to take a moment to share some exciting updates about my writing journey. A lot has been happening behind the scenes, and I’m really looking forward to letting you all in on it. First, Ashes in the River has grown—what started as a 12-chapter plan is now shaping up to be 13 chapters . This psychological horror novel keeps surprising me as I write, and I want to make sure the story is told the way it deserves to be. My goal is to have it finished by spring, with a summer release next year . I can’t wait for you to dive into this story—it’s dark, emotional, and full of twists that even caught me off guard. On top of that, I’m still expanding Bloodline , which started as a short story but is now being developed into a full novella . The world and characters are really opening up, and it feels like the story is finally reaching its true depth. I’ve also been working on special edition details—lik...

Stepping Forward, Quietly but Strongly Jump to Section: • Life Lately • Learning to Listen to Myself • The Quiet Battles • What’s Helping Right Now ▶ Life Lately Life lately has been a mix of stillness and storms. As an autistic person, the world often feels too loud, too bright, and too fast. I carry those moments of overwhelm in my body and mind, but I’m also learning how to honor them instead of fighting against them. There are days when I feel drained just from existing. The sound of voices overlapping, the pressure of expectations, or the weight of unspoken feelings can leave me buzzing inside — like my nervous system is running on high voltage. In the past, I tried to push through, but I’m realizing that survival isn’t the same thing as living. On the other side, there are days filled with small but powerful victorie...

Chronicles of a Quiet Fighter Catching Up: New Chapters & New Stores It’s been a busy couple of weeks, and I realized I haven’t shared an update here in a little while. Life has been moving quickly, but I’ve got some exciting things to share. First, my debut book Bloodline is officially out in the world! Holding it in my hands for the first time was surreal, and I’m so grateful to everyone who has supported me on this journey. If you haven’t picked up your copy yet, you can find it here: 📖 Get Bloodline on Lulu I’ve also started working on book two, Bloodline: Towerkeeper , which will dive deeper into the legacy, secrets, and shadows introduced in the first story. I can’t wait to share more about that soon. On top of writing, I’ve been building spaces where readers can connect with my work beyond the page. 🛍️ Visit My Merch Store 🎵 Shop on TikTok It hasn’t been without challenges—balancing ...

The Sound of Silence: Finding Friends Who Get It There have been so many times where I’ve been in a room full of people and still felt completely alone. It’s like everyone else is on the same frequency, and I’m just stuck on static. The world feels loud—too many voices, too many expectations, too much pressure to “fit in.” And I try. I mask. I laugh when I don’t feel like it, I force myself into small talk even though it drains me, and I walk away with nothing left in the tank. That’s the hard part about living with autism, depression, and anxiety—connection doesn’t come easy. It’s not that I don’t want it, it’s just that it costs me something. After some interactions, I go home feeling like I’ve run a marathon with no medal at the end. But then there are the people who make it different. The ones who let me sit in silence without making it awkward. The ones who don’t demand I be “on” all the time. For me, that’s Miranda and John. With Miranda, ...

The “Beep Beep” Cue Work story · Short · Autistic-perspective Working at the counter with Miranda has turned into its own kind of comedy routine. Sometimes, if I’m stimming or scrolling on my phone, I get completely lost in my own little world. A customer will walk in, and Miranda will say, “Caleb, move.” But I don’t hear her. It’s like the words don’t even register. Here’s the funny part though—if she just says “beep beep,” like I’m a car blocking the way, I move instantly without even thinking. And every time, I respond with a quick “Okay, Miranda” . She cracks up every time, and honestly, I kind of love it. What could be a frustrating moment just turns into a lighthearted inside joke between us. Why it works For me, this is also a very autistic thing. Sometimes full words and instructions just don’t cut through when my brain is busy processing other things. But a short, playful sound like “beep beep” hits...

The Honda Mix-Up Today at O’Reilly I managed to stick my foot in my mouth without even meaning to. A customer pulled into the parking lot driving a Honda. Miranda asked if I wanted to restock or deal with them, and I—without thinking—said, “Yeah, I don’t like Hondas anyway.” Then she looked at me and reminded me… her car is a Honda. Oops. I scrambled, tried to backtrack with, “Well, I like yours,” but then of course she pointed out, “But mine’s a Honda.” At that point I was stuck in a loop, so I gave up and went to put things on the shelf. When I came back, I thought I was in the clear. She was laughing, so I figured the moment passed. Nope. She snuck up on me while I was on the phone and scared the daylights out of me. I nearly lost my ability to speak, caught between laughing and crying. P.S. Miranda, if you’re reading this—I officially declare for the record: your Honda is cool, and I’m really, really sorry for the mix-up. Please don’t sneak up on me again whil...

scan me When I Was Ignored for Being Autistic Chronicles of a Quiet Fighter Today at work, I had a moment that left me both hurt and seen. An older man came in trying to return a brake hose. The part was right, but he had installed it on the wrong side of his car. When he explained it, it didn’t make sense to me—his words got jumbled, and I told him plainly: “I’m autistic, and you’re confusing me.” Instead of slowing down or respecting that, he turned his attention to my coworker John. He even said, “He said he’s autistic, maybe you can help me,” like I wasn’t standing right there anymore. Then he added that he had a granddaughter who is autistic. That stung even more. I thought, I hope he treats her better than he treated me. In that moment, I started to feel myself nearing shutdown. What bothers me is not knowing exactly what signs I was giving off that made it obvious. John later told me he noticed it happening—that’s why he hung up on his own cus...