The Sound of Silence: Finding Friends Who Truly Understand Autism, Anxiety & Depression

The Sound of Silence: Finding Friends Who Get It

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There have been so many times where I’ve been in a room full of people and still felt completely alone. It’s like everyone else is on the same frequency, and I’m just stuck on static. The world feels loud—too many voices, too many expectations, too much pressure to “fit in.” And I try. I mask. I laugh when I don’t feel like it, I force myself into small talk even though it drains me, and I walk away with nothing left in the tank.

That’s the hard part about living with autism, depression, and anxiety—connection doesn’t come easy. It’s not that I don’t want it, it’s just that it costs me something. After some interactions, I go home feeling like I’ve run a marathon with no medal at the end.

But then there are the people who make it different. The ones who let me sit in silence without making it awkward. The ones who don’t demand I be “on” all the time. For me, that’s Miranda and John.

With Miranda, I don’t have to say much. She just knows when I’m overwhelmed and doesn’t push. Sometimes she’ll just sit with me, and it’s enough. No pressure. No judgment. Just quiet understanding.

And John—he’s the kind of friend who listens without making me feel like I’m too much. He’s been there for me in those rough work days when my anxiety was off the charts. He doesn’t tell me to “get over it.” He doesn’t fill the silence with empty words. He just lets me be me, and somehow that makes the weight a little lighter.

That’s what real connection looks like. It’s not about constant chatter or hanging out every second of the day. It’s about being able to breathe around someone. It’s about knowing you don’t have to perform. It’s about being seen without having to explain yourself.

Silence isn’t empty—it’s where true connection can breathe.

Having even a couple people like that in my life has made all the difference. I don’t feel like I’m fighting alone anymore. I’m still a quiet fighter, but now I know I’ve got backup.

So here’s my question for you: Who are your people—the ones who make silence safe instead of scary? If you haven’t found them yet, don’t give up. They’re out there, and when you do find them—it changes everything.