How Miranda Gave Me a Name for My Alter Ego: Taylor

Thursday, August 14 — just another second shift that turned into something more

Some nights at work are quiet. Just me and Miranda holding down second shift, moving through the usual rhythm of orders, chatter, and silence. But this Thursday wasn’t like the rest. Somewhere between the fries dropping and the headset static, Miranda asked me a question that I didn’t realize I needed to hear.

“Caleb, what’s your alter ego’s name?” she asked casually, like it was the simplest thing in the world.

I froze. “Huh? I don’t know,” I told her. She tilted her head, studying me like she always does when she already knows the answer. “What do people call you when you’re not acting like yourself?” she pushed gently. All I could come up with was, “They just call me Caleb.”

But the truth slipped out in another way. In the drive-thru, and even on the phone, people mishear me all the time. When I say “Caleb,” they repeat back, “Taylor?” It happens so often that it has almost become a second name that follows me around.

Miranda’s eyes lit up. “Taylor,” she said, testing it out. I paused, then admitted, “Yeah. That happens a lot.” She asked if I liked the name or if I’d choose something else. I shrugged, unsure. That’s when she told me to think about it before we clocked out for the night.

And I did. I thought about how names carry weight. How “Caleb” has always felt tied to the mask I’ve worn my whole life — the one that makes me small, quiet, acceptable, hidden. But “Taylor” felt different. Softer, freer. It wasn’t tied to the old version of me. It didn’t feel heavy. It just… felt like me.

“As much as you switch between your mask and your unmasked self, people are going to start asking, ‘Who’s Taylor?’ before long.”

— Miranda

That stuck with me. Because it’s true. When I’m masking, I shrink back into “Caleb,” the name that has lived in survival mode for so long. But when I’m unmasked, when I’m laughing too loud, stimming without shame, or speaking my truth — that’s when Taylor shows up. Taylor isn’t weighed down by expectations. Taylor is free.

Caleb = Masked

Caleb has always been the name connected to hiding. It belongs to the mask — the one I wore to survive, to keep the peace, to not be “too much.” I can’t separate that name from the mask, no matter how much I try.

Taylor = Unmasked

Taylor is the name that feels alive. It’s flexible, gender-neutral, and most importantly — it feels like me. When I let myself just exist without the mask, that’s Taylor stepping forward.

So when Miranda asked me that night to choose, I finally did. I chose Taylor. Not just because people mishear my name, but because it represents something bigger: freedom. Taylor is my reminder that who I am beneath the mask matters. And even if people don’t fully understand yet, I know who Taylor is — and that’s enough.

Caleb may have been my survival name, but Taylor is my living name. The one that feels like home. The one that feels like me.

Written by Caleb — but unmasked, I am Taylor.

Search This Blog