Why It Matters to Listen to Your Neurodivergent Kids

Growing up, I felt like I was never really taken seriously by my mom when it came to things that mattered deeply to me—like my emotions, my sensory struggles, or how certain situations made me feel unsafe or overwhelmed. I would try to explain, but it got brushed aside. I think a lot of it came down to her being more practical than emotional in her parenting. She wasn’t trying to hurt me. She just didn’t really understand what I needed. But the thing is—that misunderstanding still hurt.

When you're neurodivergent, especially as a kid, you often don’t have the words to explain what's going on in your body and mind. I didn’t. I just knew that sounds were too loud, lights were too bright, and my emotions felt like tidal waves I couldn’t control. I didn’t need anyone to fix me—I needed someone to believe me. To say, “I hear you. That sounds hard. I’m here.”

I know now that I was masking a lot—hiding the signs of struggle to try to survive. But masking comes at a cost. It chips away at your sense of self. And when adults don’t listen, it reinforces the idea that your needs are too much or not real. That can stay with you well into adulthood. It did for me.

Listening doesn’t mean solving. It means witnessing, believing, and responding with compassion.

Even now, my mom still isn’t someone I can go to for emotional support. That hasn’t changed, but I’ve changed. I’ve learned to name my needs, honor them, and surround myself with people who take me seriously—who see my neurodivergence not as a flaw, but as a valid and beautiful part of who I am.

If you're raising or supporting a neurodivergent kid—please listen when they say something is hard. Even if it doesn’t make sense to you. Even if you can’t see the problem. Trust that their experience is real. Listening builds trust, and trust is the foundation of everything. When kids feel heard, they don’t just feel loved. They feel safe.

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