Unmasking Didn’t Free Me... At First

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Unmasking Didn’t Free Me... At First

I was told that unmasking would make me feel free. That I’d finally breathe easier, laugh louder, stim openly, and just exist as myself without fear.

But no one told me it would crack open the vault of everything I’d buried to survive. I didn’t expect the grief, the rage, or the way my body would tremble when I let myself move differently—freely—for the first time.

“I’m learning that freedom sometimes starts with falling apart.”

It hurts more right now because I’m finally feeling it. Every unprocessed wound, every "just push through," every mask I wore so well they started believing it was me... I'm facing all of it now.

Unmasking didn't make me happy. It made me real. And real is harder than I thought.

But I’m Not Going Back

I love stimming too much. I love the softness of my voice when I’m not forcing it. I love the freedom in rocking, spinning, flapping—my body speaking its truth without shame.

I might feel worse right now. But it’s not because I’m broken. It’s because I’m healing. And healing isn’t painless—it’s just honest.

🌀 Unmasking is not the end goal. It’s the start of coming home to myself.

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