✨ In the Quiet, I Found Myself: Reflections on Autism & Identity✨

✨ In the Quiet, I Found My Name ✨

Some nights, when the world feels unbearably loud, I close my eyes and slip into the quiet darkness behind them.

At first, there were shapes: a steady green rectangle standing on end. Then they shifted—turning into “M”s, moving gently like dancers across black velvet. And then, something unexpected: whole pages of text appeared.

The words weren’t in any language I know. They felt sacred, almost alive—like they were meant for me, but not yet. Like a promise waiting for the day I’m ready to understand.

Yet, in all the unreadable lines, one word shone clear: my name. Caleb.

“You belong here, even if you can’t read the rest yet.”

So I wrote this poem to hold onto that moment:

🌙 The Book Beyond My Eyes 🌙

Behind closed eyes, in quiet dark,
A book drifts—pages waving like soft breath.
Words written in a language I do not know,
Sacred, secret, ancient as the pulse beneath my skin.

Lines curl and dance, unreadable yet alive,
As if they wait for me to become
Who I am meant to be—
Before they open their meaning like dawn.

Only one word glows clear in the tide of ink:
My name.
A promise, a whisper: you belong here.
The rest will come, in time,
When my heart is ready to read
What was always written for me.

I still don’t know what the rest of the words mean—but knowing my name was there made me feel less lost. It reminded me that even in the darkness, there’s a part of the story that is already mine.

Maybe, for now, that’s enough.

✒️ Chronicles of a Quiet Fighter 🕰 In the quiet, the fight writes itself. 🪶 Written by Caleb | Autistic | Lover of words, history, and forgotten stories