When Life Is Full of Square Holes but You're a Round Peg

When Life Is Full of Square Holes but You're a Round Peg

Reflection:
Everything I've ever tried to do has been a challenge for me—from tying my shoes to reading to maths. It was never easy. I’ve always had to take extra time, use up more spoons, push through more frustration just to get the job done right. While others were walking through open doors, I was trying to reshape myself to fit into keyholes that were never made for me. I tried. I always tried.

But when the world demands speed, neatness, sameness—it doesn’t care that my brain works differently. It doesn’t wait for me to catch up. And that pressure builds. Every little task eats a piece of energy I might not get back for days. Add all the sensory overload that stacks up throughout the day—the lights too bright, sounds too sharp, clothes too scratchy, smells too strong—and eventually it’s not just tiredness. It’s meltdown. It’s shutdown. It’s trauma, piling up like bricks on my chest.

Over time, that toll became depression. It became anxiety. Because when you live in a world that keeps handing you square holes, being a round peg doesn’t feel brave—it feels broken. But I’m not broken. I’m different. And different takes strength.

Coping Strategies:
- Slowing down and giving myself permission to do things at my pace
- Using comfort items like my Buc-ee beaver, stim toys, and my weighted blanket
- Limiting how many overwhelming tasks I do in one day
- Taking hydroxyzine when my Storm Shield Protocol calls for it
- Letting myself cry or write it out instead of bottling it up
- Reaching out to people I trust when things get heavy (like Miranda or John—or you, Maddie)

What I Learned:
I learned that needing more time doesn’t make me lazy. That struggling with “simple” things doesn’t mean I’m stupid. That my brain isn’t wrong—it just works in its own rhythm. I learned that the emotional cost of masking and pushing through can be too high, and it’s okay to say no more today.

What I Need to Do Differently:
- Stop comparing my pace to others
- Build more breaks into my day before things spiral
- Talk about my needs without shame
- Recognize that fitting into someone else's mold isn't worth losing myself over
- Treat my struggles as valid—not failures, not flaws—just part of the terrain I walk

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